Read the following text, which is the opening of a chapter from Waterlog, an autobiographical book by Roger Deakin, a British film-maker, environmentalist and author. The Moat¹ The warm rain tumbled from the gutter in one of those midsummer downpours as I hastened across the lawn behind my house in Suffolk and took shelter in the moat. Content removed due to copyright restrictions. In the night sea at Walberswick I have seen bodies fiery with phosphorescent plankton striking through the neon waves like dragons.

Mark scheme

Marking points from the official mark scheme (Oct/Nov 2024). The mark or mark type is shown in brackets.

1. [10] (a) form, audience, purpose, style, conventions, language and structure will be appropriately adapted to suit the task
2. [10] (a) content may include Laddie's personal thoughts, feelings and reflections
3. [10] (a) tone will be used to have an impact on the reader and to create an effect.
4. [15] (b) (Form) the typical text conventions used in the original autobiographical extract and the candidate's diary entry
5. [15] (b) (Form) the ways in which the different purposes affect the content and style of the two texts
6. [15] (b) (Form) the ways in which the article and the advertisement appeal to the respective intended audiences, e.g. through the tone and register used in each text
7. [15] (b) (Form) any other relevant aspect of the form of the two texts
8. [15] (b) (Structure) beginning the extract with a vivid description of the momentous swim when the writer's plan is formulated
9. [15] (b) (Structure) the use of a non-chronological structure
10. [15] (b) (Structure) the way in which paragraphs are sequenced to present the writer's developing interest in swimming
11. [15] (b) (Structure) the way in which the text shifts focus from the narrator's present swim to swimming influences in his life, his current personal situation, and various memories of swimming experiences
12. [15] (b) (Structure) varying paragraph length and how this enables the writer to describe some memories in greater detail
13. [15] (b) (Structure) the way in which the mystical final paragraph is used to indicate how much the writer feels enriched by the experiences he has by swimming in natural surroundings
14. [15] (b) (Structure) any other relevant structural features in the text
15. [15] (b) (Language) the use of first-person pronouns enables the reader to see things from the writer's perspective
16. [15] (b) (Language) the use of cultural references in the second paragraph involve the reader in the text – William Morris, Under Milk Wood and John Cheever's stories
17. [15] (b) (Language) the connotations of vocabulary choices such as the words used to present Uncle Laddie's character – aimed by my Uncle Laddie, mythic tales of his exploits, had his own key to the outdoor pool, swimming far out to sea
18. [15] (b) (Language) the use of figurative language to render the writing more exciting, exotic, mystical – water sprites springing up on tiptoe like bright pins over the surface, the green pool snaking and shimmying, a sudden rain of pebbles, like characters from 'Under Milk Wood', striking through the neon waves like dragons
19. [15] (b) (Language) sensory language which renders the writing immediate, e.g. each raindrop exploded in a momentary, bouncing fountain, bodies fiery with phosphorescent plankton, snaking and shimmying
20. [15] (b) (Language) the repetition of the word swimming and a lexical field associated with it – Breaststroking, secret swimming holes, pools, outdoor pool, open-air pool, in races, on high boards
21. [15] (b) (Language) place names which establish credibility and demontrate the extent of his swimming Kenilworth, Byron Bay, Walberswick, Diss
22. [15] (b) (Language) any other relevant language features in the text.